Question:
I am a 26 year old recovering alcoholic and recovering pot smoker
suffering from erectile dysfunction (ED). I very much want to learn
more about my condition from other folks in this group, both out of
curiosity and so I know what to expect over the course of my recovery.
I am interested in hearing from anyone with info, especially former or
current alcoholics who can relate similar experiences. I have combed
through the archives of this website, and of the
alt.support.impotence website, but have not found the
info I need. If the relevant post exists, please point me towards it.
My primary reason for quitting drinking and smoking pot was the ED,
and so my primary concern in recovery is how long I will have to wait
until my sexual function returns to normal. Or, am I permanently
damaged?
I feel that alcohol is by far the biggest culprit in my ED, though I'm
sure all the weed did not help. Below I have given brief overviews of
my drinking, smoking, sexual, and general health history, followed by
my 'current status'. This is both FYI and for the record, as I hope
this post will help others in the future. I feel this issue sits at
the nexus of three taboos in American culture: sex, booze, and drugs.
The more info I can unearth and share on this the better. I know you
all understand the importance of this to me, and I very much
appreciate in advance any help, advice, or shared experience you can
give.
Drinking history:
I drank a minimum of 15 ounces of mostly whiskey a night for at least
the last eight years, and often would consume probably 60 ounces of
whiskey several nights a week, frequently blacking out, soiling myself
during sleep, and other such pleasantries. I rarely abstained during
this eight year period. For three years prior to this heavy use
period, I drank to get drunk at least three nights a week and would
often blackout. So, that makes about 11 years of drinking from the age
of 15 until 26, with the last eight years being the worst. I did
briefly abstain from alcohol following an ulcer and gastritis in
Spring 2000, and did not drink for probably two and a half months.
Following this episode, I drank white russians (milk, vodka, kahlua)
and eventually got back into whiskey by Winter 2000. I kept this
drinking up until May of this year, and have now not touched alcohol
in 63 days.
Pot smoking history:
I smoked heavily for the last three years and moderately for seven
years prior to that, or from the ages of 16 until 26. By heavily I
mean first thing in the morning, during lunch, and immediately after
work and then every few hours until bedtime. By moderately I mean
immediately after work and then every few hours until bedtime. I
rarely abstained during this ten year period. I kept up the heavy use
until June of this year, and have now not smoked for 25 days.
Relevant Sexual History:
I had a fantastic sex life beginning at age 16 until age 25, with my
last totally normal and successful period of intercourse occurring
during April 2000. Shortly after, I developed an ulcer and gastritis
due to alcoholism, and became sickly enough that sex was not an option
for me for several months. I first noticed my ED problem in October of
2000 when I took a girl home from a bar. I was drunk that night, of
course, and did not think much of the problem though I did take note
of it. I paid more attention to my penis after this incident, and
decided that something was indeed amiss: I lacked feeling in the
penis, arousal was difficult, and sex drive was diminished. In
addition, my penis had a somewhat limp and shrunken look, like it was
always cold would be the best way to describe it.
In April of 2001 I was again with a girl, this time I had had one beer
and was very much in love with her as she was an old girlfriend, and
yet I failed to perform. I did get a 70%-full erection after extensive
foreplay, but lost it a few minutes after insertion. It was then I
began to really acknowledge my problem with alcohol and its affect on
my sex life.
In May of 2001 I started dating another girl, a real beauty, and was
honest with her about my ED problem. We were together for about six
weeks. I was able to achieve an erection about 40-50% of the time with
her, though it was never the full erection that I hoped for. Once I
realized the ED problem was not magically going to go away, I decided
to quit drinking. One month after I quit drinking, I quit smoking pot
as my ED condition had not improved and I figured 'what the hell'.
I have no traumatic childhood sexual experiences, and was extremely
confident in my sexual ability until these episodes began. I have
always been a daily masturbator until these problems began.
General Health:
I am 5 feet 9 inches tall and weigh 147 pounds. I eat a balanced diet,
have little body fat, and exercise regularly. I quit drinking 63 days
ago and quit smoking 25 days ago. I have not smoked cigarettes in six
years. In Spring 2000 I had an ulcer and gastritis which caused me to
lose about 30 pounds, some of which I am struggling to put back on
with no luck. Other than the heavy drinking and smoking, I consider
myself quite healthy and even somewhat athletic. I am often a bit
depressed and melancholy, which is why I got into drinking in the
first place, but am generally enough of a stubborn bastard that I do
not feel this affects my sexual ability. I have always had an
extremely positive view of sex.
Current Status:
I have not had a drink in 63 days and have not smoked in 25 days. I am
not in a sexual relationship now, but was until a few weeks ago. At
that point, I could achieve mostly full erection about 40-50% of the
time. Foreplay made no difference, if it worked it worked right away.
If not, it just wouldn't work. I would also lose the erection unless I
penetrated quickly, and would also often lose the erection if we tried
anything but missionary style, and no way was oral doing the trick.
Ejaculation was normal if everything came into place. Following the
end of this relationship, I now masturbate to keep track of whats
happening, and my ability to achieve erection seems to be improving
though this may be wishful thinking. I can achieve an erection within
a few minutes of trying, and sometimes it is even as firm as I fondly
remember it should be.
I have seen an internal medicine doctor twice about this, both doctors
told me to have patience and hope, and that 6-12 months will probably
pass before I am sexually healthy again. I have had a testosterone
test which was normal (I scored a 480 I believe). I have a Viagra
prescription, and it works like a charm, but I do not want to rely on
Viagra if I can avoid it (expensive stuff, that!). I get nighttime
erections I know, but I'm not sure on their frequency. If I had to
guess I would say not every night, as I do not always wake up with
one.
Well, that sums it up. I would really appreciate any general comments,
input, or advice on this, or if anyone can answer these questions:
1) How long does this sort of recovery take? What are the minimum and
maximum timeframes?
2) What are the odds that I will return to 'normal', i.e. return to
the ability to have an erection when I need one, or have a
spontaneous erection?
3) While I have had a testosterone test, should I insist on hormone
tests as well?
4) How common is this sort of experience?
Thanks very much everyone. One more thing, I was indoctrinated in high
school just like everyone else with messages that alcohol would make
one unable to do good in school, unable to get a good job, and unable
to have a good life. I did well in school, I have a good job, and my
life is pretty good (other than the alcoholism and addiction and ED of
course). Never once was I told that booze would wreck my pecker, or I
surely would have taken note. Those of you in the position to
influence a young man, please tell him that fact. Had I known, I
surely would have stopped drinking the first time it happened!
Answer:
this is very common in both sexes, non-desire that is. how to "get it back"
including your life is to quit using drugs/alcohol entirely and concentrate
on "first things first". If you quit drinking, at your age, and a real
honest effort at discovering why you drank and used (so you won't go back),
your doctor's "guesstiment" of a year is a good one......BUT....only if you
take the focus off "performing" and onto "reforming". There is a real
problem in this country with alcohol....thus the focus on "nasty
smoking"......try NOT giving up that addiction and just concentrate on no
longer using and drinking.
